Obituary of Ryan Michael Harstad

Ryan Michael Harstad Portland, Oregon October 4, 1977 ~ March 10, 2021 Today, with heavy hearts, our family released Ryan’s ashes into the ocean. He loved the beach, spent countless nights walking the shores with only moonlight to make his way. Ryan was our miracle baby, born despite all odds, to grow into a beautiful, sensitive child; an inquisitive thoughtful teenager; a talented and troubled young man. Some of you have heard this story, of when Ryan was in first or second grade. I was having a difficult time with a deep depression. The school nurse would call to say Ryan had a stomach ache and wanted to come home. But once home he seemed fine. So, I asked him one day what’s up. He replied that he knew I wasn’t feeling well and he came home to be with me and make sure I was okay. Ryan had an incredibly offbeat sense of humor, and a wicked laugh. He enjoyed deep conversations with his friends, and had a way of looking at you that made you feel he could see into your soul. The happiest times of his life were those playing bass guitar with his band, spending time with his dog Mya, and tearing down the road on his Harley. Since moving to Portland, camping, fishing, and regular sessions of Dungeons and Dragons with his friends became favorite pastimes. His death certificate will list Ryan’s cause of death as heart failure. How ironic, for in life Ryan’s heart never failed. He was kind to a fault, offering his couch to a homeless person he had just met on the street, or cooking for someone who couldn’t remember their last home cooked meal, and he was always bringing the less fortunate along to our holiday gatherings. So many people have told me he was the very best of friends, they shared stories of the many ways he touched their lives. He always believed he was one of the good guys… and he was. In my early years as an oncology nurse, I came to realize that cancer patients are given a profoundly special gift… the time to say things that have been left unsaid, the chance to tell loved ones goodbye. I have heavy regret for years that were lost, and mourn the coming years we will never have. Ryan, of all the things in my life, I was proudest to be your mom. You will be forever in my heart.